I can clean the apartment myself — I call the maids in for sex

We had to suck silently — we're in the entryway, after all

Neighbors come to meet me, but they all leave shagged

Pretty neighbor dreams of a man with a real dick? I'm on my way

You thought you'd bent the slut and fired her? And the slut was a bitch

Sucks at an interview and thinks she'll get the job now